yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
