So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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