There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
