I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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