it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
