just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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