she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
