i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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