If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
