I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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