whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
