READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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