So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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