Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
