...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
