is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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