he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize