I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
