I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
