You made me cry and you don't even care
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
