He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
