Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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