white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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