Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
