i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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