I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
