so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can't turn off my feet"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
