I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
