you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
