I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
