I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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