Quick, to the slutcave!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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