dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm at about main and main street
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
