Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
