I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm determined to sit on that face.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
