i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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