I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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