I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
