Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
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