i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
