is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
