What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
