her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
