I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
