I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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