Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize