Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You're like the curious george of whores
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
