you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
