wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
