so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
