moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's just like the Real World with babies
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
