yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
