All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
