so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
