At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
