Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I need a beard to bite.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
where are my eyebrows?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
