can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
