One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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