So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
