i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
