You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
