she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
there is glitter all over my balls
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