I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My liver just had a heart attack.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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