But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
